My ever cautious Beloved (with the ultra private personality) often wonders aloud what possesses me to disclose so much of myself to just ... anybody.
But I simply replicate the now famous words of my late mother: that's just the way it is.
Apparently, many of mom's friends were also keenly aware of her decidedly firm state of mind on most issues - and somehow after the funeral, there was this old adage circulating...something about an apple not falling far from its tree. :)
So if I must, I shall wear that mantle with both pride and humility - if such an oxymoronic style exists.
I hope someday to have my daughter teach me how to convert this blog into a hardcover book, and then snippets of my earthly sojourn will remain on a dusty shelf in our home library for any interested persons of posterity.
The reader will know one thing for sure - for good or for bad, I'm an open book.
My hubby groans reading this over my shoulder.
The reader will know one other thing for sure - the discovery (in the past thirty years) of a divine sense of humour, living with my well/cleverly appointed other half. I could write a book about that.
Hence the groaning.
So. The next stage of my journey will be coming to terms of an earthly life without mom nearby.
I thought I'd feel run over by a truck by now. But no. I thought maybe I'd just feel empty. But no.
... At least not yet.
I feel too grateful to God for His overwhelmingly specific and speedy answer to our prayer(s) - for giving us the enormous privilege of waving her off on the riverbank - for bringing Nicole back into her life before having to leave it behind - for the realization of how rich she was in faithful, affirming friendship...
On Sunday, I could re-connect with my own church family - and then ultimate dessert!.... reveling in the company of my preschool peeps over dinner
and a delightfully squishy viewing of the Curious George Movie on laptop.
(Laptop just took on a whole new meaning :)
My conclusion thus far? It's not a crime against mom to 'enjoy' these first days of mourning.
On the contrary, I will 'credit' her by attempting to adopt her hard-won conviction of Matthew 6:34:
Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Yep. One day at a time.
Walk by faith, not sight.
